He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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