I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
