And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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