so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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