so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The adults are the big ones right?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
