We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
