why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
