I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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