My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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