I love black thongs
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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