Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
