Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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