I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
