I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
