lets start a swedish sibling band together
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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