i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
