my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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