FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
