I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize