Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
