So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
