hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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