do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
