I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
