:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
