Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Randomize
