Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
