dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You work out of a Hotel?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The uberlube is also flammable
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
