Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize