i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
