Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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