The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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