I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
