I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
