that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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