If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
