Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
