I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
