How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
COCAINE IS GR8
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
