Is it penis luge time yet?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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