She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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