I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
