my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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