is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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