i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
