Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
