So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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