Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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