Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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