i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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