called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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