either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
