11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
