Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
