There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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