I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
