i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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