Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
