New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
