I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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