Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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