yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize