glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
