# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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