matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Girls should come with a carfax report
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
