My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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