jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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