i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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